A New Way to LIVE

Some or most of you may already know that I had Lap-Band weight loss surgery on December 15th, 2009. I have been thinking of journaling about my journey here, but never got around to doing so. And sadly enough, the more time that passes, the more things have happened and the less motivated I become to write. I will attempt to cover everything to date.

My starting weight was 362 pounds. I had gained back all that I had lost and more, as is usually the case. I was frustrated with my weight and myself. After spending Thanksgiving week with Richelle, seeing how great she looked, and how "normal" her life was, 9 months out from her surgery, I began to give it a lot of thought. In the past I had been so chicken of the surgery. I am such a wimp. I just couldn't get it out of my mind this time. I was really weighing my options, I could start yet another program, succeed for a while and then most likely quit, or I could do something permanent. This was the appeal for me about the surgery, It would in a way force me to be consistent even when I wanted to quit.


I went in to True Results on December 2nd. I talked with them about the procedure, got my starting weight, 362 lbs., and talked with them about price and possible dates. I decided that I needed to set a date for sooner than later, so I didn't chicken out again. I chose a date two weeks out, December 15th. I immediately started on my pre-op diet of low fat, low carb, high protein. I did very well on this diet, at least up until a few days before my surgery. I started to think about all the things that I would never be able to eat again that I loved, and I chose to cheat and eat those things one last time, things like fried rice, and charley's steakery philly cheese steak sandwich.

I opted to pay cash for the surgery because the insurance company had so many qualifications, I didn't want to go through that all over again and be denied again. That would take at least 6 months, and I knew by that time I would have changed my mind twenty times. I didn't want to chicken out again.

I went for a pre-op visit on December 8th. I met Dr. Wilkenfeld, my surgeon. The also did an ECG and other pre-op things. At this visit, I had already lost 9 pounds. I weighed 353.


The morning of my surgery came and I was not scared, I was more excited to start my new way of life. I had no idea what was in store for me. I had never had surgery before. My husband, Lehi, was more scared than I was, in fact he was down right somber. After we got there they did some last minute blood work, started my I.V., and then we waited, and waited. The Surgeon came in to talk with Lehi and me. I kissed Lehi and then they wheeled me back into the O.R. All I remember about what happened next is that they put the air mask on me, had me climb over onto the O.R. table and scoot down so my feet were at the bottom, stretch out my arms on the t-shaped arm rest pillows, and I took a few deep breaths like they told me to.


I heard a voice calling my name over and over telling me to wake up. I was aware of people hustling around me, but I felt as though I were in a deep fog. Then the pain hit me and I felt like I was going to puke. I was so cold. I kept shivering and tried to relax. I loved the heated blankets and the blowing hot air they put under the blankets. It hurt so bad to breath. I just wanted to take a deep breath but felt like I couldn't. I found out later that they had repaired a hietal hernia while they were in there too (hence the breathing pain). I was very sick to my stomach from being put under. I think I threw up quite a few times while I was still at the surgery center. I just remember thinking and even commenting to Lehi sarcastically that I was glad I had the surgery. What the heck was I thinking wanting to have surgery? I was so sick and in so much pain. I just wanted to turn the clock back and be comfy in my bed again. They had me walking up and down the hallway, I can't remember why, I just thought they were crazy and I kept having to stop to catch my breath. They took me into the X-ray room and had me do a live x-ray barium swallow to make sure the flow to my stomach was correct. Then told me that when ever I was ready I could go home, everything looked good. Hello? Did they not see me in so much pain and puking? How could I go home? I waited for a little while longer and they wheeled me down to the van. Now for the 45 minute ride home. They had given me some anti-nausea medicine that seemed to help a little bit. I made it home and went straight to my recliner, since I would not be able to lay in my bed for a week or so.

At home, Lehi was a great nurse. He gave me my meds and got my drinks and made me do my breathing treatments. I also had the help of my SiL Michelle, friend Stacey, and my mom, while Lehi was at work. They are all so lucky, they got to see me in my lovey uniform of my t-shirt, sweater, and panties. I didn't wear pants yet because every time I puked, I peed my pants and pants also it hurt one of my incisions. I had to get up at least every two hours and walk around. I would take laps around the downstairs. They said it would hep to work out the gas from the surgery. I was bent over like a little old lady, I could not yet stand up tall. I didn't even try to be brave and go without my pain meds, I took that stuff like clockwork.


I had to be on clear liquids, including jell-o for the first 3 days. I didn't even feel like eating though. After that I got to go to full liquids, basically anything pureed, yogurt, pudding, soups with no chunks etc. By this time I was starting to want to eat again. I could only eat 1/4 cup at a time.

My post-op visit was on December 23rd. I weighed 341 pounds. I had already lost 21 pounds since I started my pre-op diet on December 2nd. At this visit, they did a short education class on the band, things we could not eat and why, and they said I could move to mushy foods. Basically I could eat anything that could easily be mushed with a fork. I was ready for this change in diet, though I felt lucky. I had heard of some people being on liquids for up to 3 weeks after surgery. For some reason, my doctor doesn't do it this way.

Each week after that, I got to keep adding more foods, and at 4 weeks out, I could eat all foods again, except for those that I would never eat again. Those foods include bread, rice, oatmeal, basically anything that could dough up and block the band. Now, I am a total carboholic, so that part was a bit hard for me, but I decided that I just needed to make that sacrifice, so I could live and not die at an early age. Besides, the consequences of getting the band blocked by these things could mean another surgery to get it out. I under no circumstances wanted another surgery. So I followed the rules!

I went for my first fill on January 17th. I didn't know what to expect. I weighed 334 pounds at this visit. That made a total loss of 36 pounds. So how the band works is that it is placed around the upper part of your stomach making a small pouch, the idea is that you feel full longer and eat less. They fill the band with saline through a port stiched to your six pack muscles under the skin. I was shocked by the size of the needle. It is seriously 5 or 6 inches long. That totally grossed me out. They access the port by sticking this long needle in it while you are laying on your back on the table. Now, at my doctors office they do live x-ray fills, so I had to get up off the table with the needle still stuck in my stomach, just hanging there, and stand in front of the x-ray machine. Then they have me drink the barium and he injects the saline into the the port, how ever much he feels is needed. When ever you get a fill you have to be on the 3 day diet of clear liquids the first day, full liquids the second day and muchy foods the third day. You can be back on regular foods by day 4. This is pretty much the routine with a "fill". ALL GROSS!!! I thought I might pass out the first time.

My second fill was on february 15th. I weighed 326, making the total loss 36 lbs. It wasn't as bad as the first time, maybe because I knew what to expect, and I did not look at the size of the needle.

I had another fill on March 3rd. At this fill I had gained a pound, I weighed 327. I wasn't too discouraged because it was only a pound and I knew I needed to be eating more healthy.

On March 23rd I weighed 324 pounds. This was my 4th fill and by now it was all good. I knew the routine. My total loss was now 38 pounds. I was glad I had lost even just a little bit. Richelle told me that it would be like this, sometimes a lot and other times not so much weight loss. At this time, I couldn't really say that I was glad that I had the surgery. I was really feeling the diet restrictions and not seeing as rapid weight loss as I had before. I was afraid that I was messing things up, and I wouldn't be losing much weight anymore.

On April 13th, things started to change. I weighed 319 pounds. That was a 43 pound total loss. Oh ya, so I am not weighing myself at home really, my scale is unreliable so I am basically going by what the Dr.'s office scale says. I had my fill and went on my way. With this fill was the first time that I was really feeling restricion. It was about 4 days later and things started to feel like they were getting stuck. I needed to slow down my eating and chew longer. This is something I have really had to learn to do with this surgery.

My last Dr. appointment was on April 26th. I weighed 312 pounds. I had lost 7 more pounds making my total exactly 50 pounds lost. This is very exciting for me. This is the lowest weight I have been in years, maybe 4 years. I didn't end up getting a fill at this visit. I had been having problems for about a week before with throwing up about once a day. This is what happens when food gets stuck or you eat too fast. Gross! So they had me do a barium swalow and decided that my band was just right, and didn't need further tightening.

So this is where I am today, 50 pounds lost. I was able to fit back into the clothes that I had out grown, and was recently able to buy some smaller clothes, and clean 2 trash bags of clothes out of my closet to give away. I am now a size 26. I started at about a 30. All my 28's were too tight, and I wore stretch pants a lot. It's a good feeling, I can't wait for more progression. I will keep you updated. Sorry about the monster post, but there was so much to cover to bring you up to date.

Christine's Friday Report #8

I weigh 330 pounds, and am a size 26/28.

My total weight loss is 26.5 pounds.

So I have obviously gained back some of the weight I had lost. But I did exercise today and am going to start excercising again.

What's up with me!?

So, many of you have been wondering what is up with me lately. Why I have not posted etc. The truth is I have been barely living...

As many of you may already know I am bi-polar. I am seeking treatment, yet even with the meds sometimes life just isn't good and I am just barely making it. This has been the case for this whole month of January basically.

I have not had any energy. I have had no desire to do anything or talk to anyone. Just your basic DEPRESSION...

I was doing well until the week of Christmas. I was staying on program and still exercising. I was just too busy to report about it. Then things went down hill.

This is not to be seen as excuses just an explanation. I need to get back into LIVING! It's just hard when you don't really want to be alive.

I will report tomorrow where ever I am...SCARY! And I will at least start going through the motions.

Christine's Friday Report #7

I weigh 324 pounds, and am a size 26/28.

My weekly weight loss is 2.5 pounds.
My total weight loss is 32.5 pounds.

This update is really for the past two weeks because I was not home to weigh and post on the Friday after Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving week went well. I exercised 5 times that week including weights. I was not as strict as I had been on my eating though.

This week has been a hard week for me. I just have not been feeling it at all. I have not worked out once. I have been in a funk. I don't really want to do anything, or see anyone. I just kinda want to stay in my little shell. I think this is because life has been so hectic the last two weeks. I have not really had any down time, and I have not been home, so my house was a wreck too. Anyway, I have been taking a little break, and trying to get my life back in order. I got the house all cleaned up, the laundry done and the fall decorations all put up.

I also started to put up some Christmas decorations. I still need to put up the tree and get out the nativity and the winter dishes, then I will be done.

Next week is another week and I will start training again and working out on my own. I just needed a break, but I am ready to go again. I choose to LIVE. I really do!

Inspirational Story

Below is a link to a very inspiring story. I love to hear that people have lost weight, especially when it is so much, and they did not have surgery. They just worked hard and exercised self control. There are so many things I can relate to in her story.

Anyway, read it and enjoy!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/diet.fitness/11/21/weightloss.karen.daniel/index.html

p.s. Thanks to Lehi for finding it and sending it to me.

Christine's Friday Report #6

I weigh 326.5 pounds, and am a size 26/28.

My weekly weight loss is 8.5 pounds.
My total weight loss is 30 pounds.

Wahoo! 30 pounds! I have only 5.5 pounds until I get to my 10% goal. My next goal after that will be 300 pounds.

I started running on the elliptical this week. This may be why the big jump start in weight loss. I was down in Pearland to help my mom and I went with Michelle to her gym for two days. We ran on the elliptical. It was fun to work out with her. If I had not, I would probably still be walking on the treadmill. So, Thanks Michelle! You are a great work out partner!

I'm looking forward to this next week, Thanksgiving! I am going to stay on plan. The good news is that there are some people that are trying to be healthy, so there will be healthy options around and it won't be hard to exercise.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Christine's Friday Report #5

I weigh 335 pounds, and am a size 26/28/30.

My weekly weight loss is -1 pound.
My total weight loss is 21.5 pounds.

Not sure what happened here. Yesterday I weighed 332.5 and was excited for the Friday report. Then I gained. Oh well, maybe next week...

I'm cranky today because I don't feel well. I did my training today, and my treadmill. If there was ever a day I didn't want to do the treadmill and train, this was it. I'd rather be in my bed. I kept yawning through my whole work out.

I'm not quitting or getting too discouraged. I still choose to LIVE!

I'm very proud of you!

I have heard numerous reports that this blog has inspired others to do better, be it exercising, eating better, etc.

I am so proud of you! It's a hard decision that you have to make over and over to do better, So for that I applaud you! Every little decision, and effort counts!

I wish you much success in your journey, and would love to hear all about them! It helps me in my journey to LIVE too. Here is to you and me LIVING!

Why Wednesdays?

What is it with Wednesday?

I am so tired on Wednesdays. It is also my hardest work out day. We did legs again today. ouch! At one point during my lunges, I thought I might puke! That's what Jessica gets for making me work so hard!

Jessica is my new trainer. She is a little cute petite 22 year old. I like her and hate her in a good way! She still kicks my bootie.

Anyway, when it came time to get on the treadmill, I had to go a little slower today. I kept trying to up the speed, but then I'd start to feel sick from over exertion. So I only ever made it up to 2.9 miles and hour. I did walk for 45 minutes still though.

I am starting to feel better, now that my work out is over and I have cooled off. I had my ever so tasty protein shake, chocolate and banana, mmmm!

Only two more days in the gym this week. Yea! Saturday I will be going to Dad's ranch again. I will walk to the gate again weather permitting. It has been so rainy lately.

Also, two more days till the Friday update! It's hard to believe that it has only been a month since I have been doing this. It seems like so much longer. But Friday will be exactly one month. Around the 1st of the month I will start posting my measurements...eek! I will measure myself once a month and report.

I go now! Have a happy "hump day"! I know that I will since the hard part of my day is over...yippee!

I Touched the Front Gate!

The driveway at my Dad's ranch is a mile long. I had never walked all the way from the house to the front gate because I was too intimidated by the walk. It is hilly, and I never thought I could do it without passing out. One time I walked almost half way but turned around because I didn't want to go up the big hill.

Saturday, I took the kids out to Dad's ranch for the day. While I was there I decided to walk all the way to the front gate (two miles round trip). I did it! I walked at a decent steady pace and only got winded on the big hill. Thanks to Emily, Sarra, and Michelle for going with me.

I realise that for some, that walk would be a piece of cake. For me, that was a big accomplishment. It makes me want to make that walk many more times, at least once a day that I am out there. Who knows, maybe I can even work up to jogging it one day.

Living on a Budget

Part of my quest to LIVE is to be balanced and in control of all areas of my life, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc. I have been way out of control financially. Lehi makes a good amount of money, but somehow I have managed to spend quite a bit more than he makes, hence the large sum of debt we currently have.

My Sister Patrice suggested that I go strictly to cash, so when the money is gone, there is no more spending. Period! No more debit or credit cards. I decided to try that for the month of October. It worked! So I am going to continue to work on a cash basis at least until our debt is gone.

I took my monthly budget and divided it by the weeks, so I get a weekly allowance. This way I don't blow all the money in the first or second week of the month. I am liking that.

So this week, the weekly budget was quite a bit less because I decided to get the kids yearbooks, and we went out to eat last Friday. So today, I headed to the store with my list and my allotted amount of money. At the register I made two piles one of needs and the other of wants. At the end of the need pile, I was already suddenly over my allotted total. I had to take about 8 things off and was not even able to get any of the wants. As I left I thought, wow, that was kinda embarrassing, but then I felt really good that I had paid with my cash and stayed in the budget, financially under control.

If any of you are struggling with your finances, or staying on the budget, I highly recommend going to all cash, no cards. It's a little more work to go to the bank every week and get my money out, but I never go over my allotted amount anymore. And with a bit of work, I will eventually be out of my consumer debt.

Request for Music

Well, It didn't take me long to get sick of my play list, so I am requesting ideas for new songs. What are your top 10 favorite workout songs (please include title and artist). Thanks!

Christine's Friday Report #4

I weigh 334 pounds, and am a size 26/28/30.

My weekly weight loss is 1.5 pounds.
My total weight loss is 22.5 pounds.

I have lost all the weight that I had gained since July. My next weight loss goal is my 10% weight loss. Since I started this at 356.5 pounds that means the weight loss goal is 35.5 pounds. So, I have 13 pounds to go toward my 10% goal. Yeah!

Today is Friday. I am feeling good about life. Even though this week is only 1.5 pound loss, that is a real normal amount. Besides, I just started resistance training, and I'm hoping that I am still losing inches, since the weight numbers are not big.

Yummy Meal!

I tweaked one of my favorite things and made it a little more healthy. I love homemade chili. I used to have it with cheese, sour cream and Frito's. And of course I would have more than the one cup serving size. So I decided to try something new.

I got about 3 cups of salad and dumped my cup of chili on top, no salad dressing, no sour cream, cheese or chips. I like the garden romaine bag salad, it's very crisp and crunchy. It was very tasty to me. And it helps to get in your veggies. I like the cripsyness of the salad with the chili, no need for chips.

I know it's not a new invention, because it is kinda like taco salad, but it is a lot more healthy this way than with all those other add ons. Anyway, if you're interested, you should try it.

btw- I have my weekly weigh in/report tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how things end up. I have had an up and down week, as far as weight. I can only credit that to the added resistance training, because nothing else has really changed. Muscle weighs more than fat, right?

So Tired!

For some reason I am so tired today. I had to lay back down after I got the kids off. In training today, we worked on legs...enough said there. Leg workouts stink for me. They are so hard. Maybe it's because of the lunges and squats. I am terrible at those, and I have bad knees. Anyway when my training was over I still had to to cardio. I had to start slower than normal, and for the first time since I started, I seriously considered turning off the machine and going home early. But alas, I did not! I got in my 45 minutes. YEA!!!

Now that it is all over, I am feeling good about my workout, but for whatever reason it was very difficult today. It makes me happy that I complete my workouts even when it is hard.

This is a life change for me, not just a diet. I really want to be more healthy for the rest of my life. I want to enjoy life and not have back and knee pain from being overweight. I want to LIVE!

I remember that in the two years before I got married, especially the last year, I was a lot more active. I really enjoyed it. I think I was in a good place then, physically and emotionally. Being active always makes me feel better. I have noticed a change in my attitude since I started working out. I feel better about myself and about life in general.

Loving the Workouts

I did not binge! I didn't even have any treats. I was so good. The cravings eventually went away.

I went to the gym this morning. I walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes. I have training appointments on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday of this week. My legs are starting to recover, just in time to work them again on Wednesday.

It felt good to be on the treadmill again today. I almost feel that I miss the workout on the weekend. Obviously not enough to go in on Saturday and Sunday though, right?

I am noticing that my clothes are fitting me better, not so pasted on after losing 20 pounds. It's nice. I'm looking forward to further weight loss.

Another Product Endorsement

Yoplait light fat free Pineapple Upside-Down Cake yogurt!

Ever so Tasty, You simply must try it! How do they make yogurt taste like the cake? I don't know, I do know that I like both!

Halloween Brilliance

I had a revelation that I forgot to tell you about. We went to the trunk or treat Thursday night, where the kids got candy. Then we took the kids trick or treating, where they got a pumpkin full of candy. That night was really hard too, I wanted to eat candy, so after I let them have what they wanted Friday night, as they were going to bed, I asked them if they would trade me all their candy for a toy. I had bought a couple cheap toys earlier as rewards they could earn. Jacob without even thinking about it said yes! Emma had to see the toys first, then she traded me too, so Lehi took all their candy, and will take it to work, and they each got a toy. Now I don't have candy around to tempt me! I think I will try it again next year.

Help Me, I'm Falling!

This weekend has been really hard. I have wanted to eat junk food. And today, for whatever reason, I really want to just binge, nice warm cookies, cookie dough, brownies, anything. I have just eaten my healthy lunch. My stomach feels satisfied, yet for what ever reason, I have this emotional need. I don't even know why. I think I will go lie down and stay out of the kitchen.

I feel frustrated, because I feel the need to eat junk. Some people say, Oh, just go ahead and have one thing. It will kill the craving. Unfortunately, I think if I were to start, even with just one, I would not stop.

Anyway, I just thought I would come and write these feelings. I go now.

Christine's Friday Report #3

I weigh 335.5 pounds, and am a size 28/30.

My weekly loss is 6.5 pounds.
My total loss is 21 pounds.

Yeah! This means I am now 1 pound less than my July weight.

Today is Halloween. Happy Halloween! We had the church Trunk or Treat last night. I thought I would be so smart and offset all the candy that everyone was handing out by handing out Halloween pretzel bags. (I know, why not hand out a box of raisins. I'm a dork!) This way I would not be tempted to eat the candy. I forgot that my kids would be getting buckets of candy themselves. It was a little hard for me last night when I saw the mini Twix, Heath bar, and Milkyway. I just had to walk away and hope that my kids would eat those things first. I can do without the fruity sugary stuff, but chocolate and caramel!? That is temptation to me! One thing that really helped me last night was knowing that I had my public weigh in this morning. So thanks for holding me accountable!

Today is my last work out for this week. Wahoo! I got my 5 stickers! And this is the last day of the Month. I am still comitted to LIVING. Maybe more so after seeing a 21 pound drop in basically three weeks. I know the rate will slow down as the weight drops, and that's okay. Besides being sore now, I have more energy and am not as tired through out the day, even though I am still ready for bed at 9pm. (I know, sad, hu? It's my meds.) Anyway, I hope that you all have a Happy and Safe Halloween! Eat some chocolate for me!